Afterlife
by Evelina888
Summary: I sat up, disoriented. Where was I? Where was James? Where was Harry, for that matter? LJ one-shot.


**A/N: So I felt like doing another Lily/James one-shot. I really want to do a long story about them, but I don't want to start it until I finish my Rose/Scorpius. (I have anyway, though. Only 1 chapter in it, for now though. :'( ) In case you haven't read my Rose/Scorpius story, please read it! And my Lily/James story! Oh, and, of course, enjoy this one!**

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><p>I sat up, disoriented.<p>

What had happened? Looking around, I found myself in a grey, dark wood.

I couldn't see James. Immediately, I panicked. Where was he? Where was _Harry_, for that matter? My eyes widened, my mouth opened, and I was about to utter a scream when a large warm hand enveloped my mouth, and I was caught in a crushing hug from my husband.

"Lily, I thought you were gone!" The relief was prominent in his voice, yet I couldn't relax. What about Harry? "James, where is Harry?" I swung around and fixed him with a level stare. I wasn't frolicking around anywhere until I saw my son.

At my words, James dropped his grin, and regarded me with a frown.

"Harry?" He echoed. "Harry." I repeated.

Understanding widened James's gaze, while anxiety furrowed my brows. "Lily," he said tenderly, "Lily, dear, you don't understand." I narrowed my eyes. "I don't understand what, James?" My _darling _husband didn't answer right away, but motioned for me to sit down on the ground.

Though very confused, I complied, and was surprised to find that the grass, which appeared to be brittle and brown, was very soft, as if summer was in its very midst in this desolate forest.

Sitting down next to me, James began, very softly and tenderly still, "What you don't understand, Lily-flower, is that we're….we're _dead_." This last word he spoke so quietly, it seemed that I should barely hear it, but it sounded like a foghorn in my ears.

"We're, we're….what?" My eyes were wide and horrified for a second or two. Then I smiled. James, strangely enough, remained solemn. "Nice prank, James," I said heartily, "now where's Sirius, and _Harry?_" My smile turned into a grim stare.

James sighed and bit his lip, looking away from me. I took a deep breath, and said in a quiet yet dangerous voice, "If you don't tell me where Harry is _now, _James, I will hex your bollocks off, and we will never have any more children."

Sticking my hand in my pocket, you can imagine how utterly surprised I was to find my wand gone. James sighed again. "I knew you'd take this hard, sweetie," he began again, "but we really are dead." James spoke now with an air of matter of fact, as if trying to fool me with reason.

I didn't say anything, just thought. If this really was a joke, I'd bet anything it was Sirius's idea. But I was surprised James went along with it at all…..He just didn't play cruel tricks anymore, not since we became Heads together.

My eyes widened in terror and disbelief as I realized that, then, what James said was _true._ "So we r-really are d….." My voice faded away on the last word: I couldn't bring myself to say it.

Horror gripped my heart in a sudden, painful move.

Who would take care of Harry? If we was dead, where w_ere _we? In the afterlife? I almost scoffed at such a notion, but my thoughts faltered as I teetered on the brink of emotional despair. _Who _would take care of _Harry? _Where _were_ we?

"My darling baby boy…." I murmured, not aware in the least that I was speaking aloud. "My darling, precious, _Harry_….." And then great, racking sobs shook my body; I rocked up and down, spreading myself out on the soft grass. Tears blurred my vision; terror crowded all thoughts out of my mind. "No, no, no, no….." I found myself repeating, over and over again. This was not true. This was _not _true...was it? Fresh wails, _contractions_, resumed in my heart as my own thoughts made me shudder.

All this time, James had been trying to catch and hold me, I guess, but in my panic I hadn't registered it. Now he caught and held me close.

My ear was by his chest. I listened close. No heartbeat.

The tears came again, and this time I couldn't stop. "Why me, why does it have to be me?" I moaned, my breath coming in short, harsh gasps. The sorrow filled my chest, clogging up my very soul.

Then James hugged me closer still, and I felt his breath on my ear. "We'll make it out, Lily, together." He whispered. I sat up as best I could and glared at James through my salty teary-eyed, blurry vision.

"How can you say that, James?" However much I tried, I couldn't raise my voice above a sorrowful whisper. "Don't you care about Harry at all? He's not here, James, not here. Not with us." The awful truth hit me with just as much force as the first time, but I willed myself not to succumb to tears. Not...just...yet.

I stood up, swayed a bit, and then regained my, albeit still clumsy, footing.

Clearing my eyes, wiping them free of tears, I saw James better.

And what I saw nearly made me start crying again. He was sickly pale, eyes too bright behind his glasses. The sorrow, loss in his eyes made me want to wail again. But he managed to smile weakly at me.

"Lily, that means he's still alive, don't you see? This means the Dark Lord didn't kill him. Harry is alive, Lily. Our little baby boy, _alive._" James's words were scary, yet comforting and tender. His voice broke on the last word.

I looked closer at my husband still and saw the tear tracks glittering there. And then I understood what I had missed. James was as miserable, just as _broken_ as I was.

But James, he stood strong. He didn't let himself crumple, weaken. And something in me took strength from that. That was James, that was my wonderful husband.

"James, James, I'm so sorry, I understand now." I pulled him to his feet and hugged him. He mumbled, "S' okay Lily, s' okay," his face pressed to my fiery hair.

As we pulled apart I looked around, and gasped. The desolate plains had turned into lush, green, grassy fields. Leafy trees framed the enormous meadow, and if I looked closer I could see images of people walking around, exchanging greetings. I could swear I saw my grandmum somewhere before she disappeared into the crowd. We both saw James's little sister, Stephanie, who had died of cancer when James was 13.

James held my hand and glanced at me. When our eyes met, he grinned.

"Welcome to the afterlife." I smiled, "And to you too." My words were sincere.

And suddenly, James's eyes shone with mischief. "Let's go see who we can find!"

As he pulled me into the crowd, I sighed.

Behind James's bravado, there was an indestructible ring of sadness.

Mine was more visible. He hid his well.

Harry would remain _in _us, if not with us, in our hearts, in our minds.

Meanwhile, until he got here, I would enjoy my life –death- in the afterlife. And I hoped Harry would not join us soon. He deserved a nice long life.

Hmm. Afterlife. Not such a bad prospect. I thought I could try it out.

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><p><strong>AN: So didya like it? Sorry, but I thought the single lines at the end there were necessary. I really tried to make this one more serious, not as light-hearted as my other stories. I wanted some more deep-meaning stuff here. See, what I really wanted was to really portray the pain Lily and James felt. I wanted to make you guys think. Tell me if I succeeded!**


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